I'm going to be copy-pasting journals here from FA because FA has a habit of going down in flames every few milliseconds. If this bothers you, you can:

a.) Go to 'manage friends' and uncheck 'journals'

b.) Go to 'manage friends' and uncheck 'me' then hit 'update'

c.) Go to 'hell' and check 'get assraped by Satan'

Without further ado...

1. How old will you be in five years?
Old enough to be legal for everything!

2. Who did you spend at least two hours with today?
I'm a hermit.

3. How tall are you?
I’m not.

4. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks?
My mother dying.

5. What's the last movie you saw?
Confessions of a Shopaholic. WORST MOVIE EVER!

6. Who was the last person you called?
The telemarketer and I told him to shut the fuck up.

7. Who was the last person to call you?
A fucking telemarketer.

8. What was the last text message you received?
Some garbage they call horoscopes.

9. Who was the last person to leave you a voicemail?
My dad wondering where the hell I am with the marshmallows.

10. Do you prefer to call or text?
Neither. They brain-wash you.

11. What were you doing at 12am last night?
Staring blankly at my computer screen and wondering why none of my school work seems to be getting done.

12. Are your parents married/divorced?
Married.

13. When did you last see your mom?
Last night when she was bitching about how much she's depressed.

14. What color are your eyes?
Dark blue with a ring of green around the iris.

15. What time did you wake up today?
Too soon.

16. What are you wearing right now?
A bra and panties.

17. Do you like Christmas songs?
No. They get stuck in my head and make me happy.

18. Where is your favorite place to be?
My own little world where there is no such thing as school or bitchy people trying to make you do homework and learn things.

19. Where is your least favorite place to be?
School.

20. Where would you go if you could go anywhere?
As far the fuck away from my mom as possible.

21. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years?
If I do somehow manage to not have died by that point I'll most likely be a crazy cat lady.

22. Do you tan or burn?
Both.

23. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
Murders.

24. What was the last thing that really made you laugh?
My dog almost biting my brothers 'goods' off.


25. If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it kill the occupants of the house it landed on?
*Insert funny Dane Cook joke here*

26. How big is your bed?
BIG.

27. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer?
Desktop.

28. Do you sleep with or without clothes on?
Clothes, duh. Nobody needs to see what's under this tank top.

29. What color are your sheets?
White with red spots (but the red spots weren't there when I got them.)

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?
Three, duh. Sometimes four when that doesn't satisfy me.

31. What is your favorite season?
Don't matter. As long as the weather changes.

33. What do you like about winter?
Love snow. Love getting gifts. Love the horny men. Love the season!

34. What do you like about the summer?
Love no school. Love the pool. Love the horny men. Love the season!

35. What do you like about spring?
Love the flowers. Love the Easter Bunny (no stripper jokes please). Love the horny men. Love the season!

36. How many states/provinces have you lived in?
One. Fucking Ohio. Ohio means 'hi' in Japanese, did you know that? I have these fucking Japanese neighbors. They can suck on my ass for all I care.

37. What cities/towns have you lived in?
MYOB!

38. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet?
Whatever the occasion calls for.

39. Are you a social person?
*Uncontrollable laughter* No.

40. What was the last thing you ate?
All the marshmallows from a Lucky Charms box.

41. What is your favorite restaurant?
Outback.

42. What is your favorite kind of ice cream?
Coldstone.

43. What is your favorite dessert?
CAKE!

44. What is your favorite kind of soup?
I hate soup.

45. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich?
I hate jelly.

46. Do you like Chinese food?
I hate Chinese food.

47. Do you like coffee?
Coffee is my LIFE.

48. How many glasses of water, a day, do you drink on average?
About nine.

49. What do you drink in the morning?
Nothing.

50. If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, do the Keebler elves inside all die a horrible plummeting death?
If I'm not around to hear it, how the hell would I know?

51. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed?
The left side.

52. Do you know how to play poker?
*Total straight face* Yes. <.< >.>

53. Do you like to cuddle?
*Dying laughter* Who in the right mind would want to cuddle with me?

54. Have you ever been to Canada?
Nope. I hear they have good bacon.

55. Do you have an addictive personality?
No. My personality is as dry as the crack on my mother's ass.

56. Do you eat out or at home more often?
Home.

57. Do you believe in ghosts?
Nope.

58. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you?
Yes, and she's a bitch.

59. Do you want kids?
Fuck no. Too much work.

60. Do you speak any other languages?
Spanish and Snob.

61. Have you ever gotten stitches?
No.

62. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
When I was five and it was actually cool to trick the EMT's into letting you drive the ambulance, thus you crash it into the tree and another ambulance comes and takes you to the hospital and you find out you owe the fire department a ton of money and you have a broken leg.

63. Do you prefer an ocean or a pool?
Water.

64. Do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seats?
Window seat. That way if someone farts you have access to an escape route.

65. Do you know how to drive a stick?
No fucking way.

66. What is your favorite thing to spend money on?
Books and things I don't need.

67. Do you wear any jewelry?
A necklace or bracelet every now and then.

68. What is/are your favorite TV show/s?
TV.

69. Can you roll your tongue?
Yes, which is highly impressive...in Kindergarten.

70. Who is the funniest person you know?
Jeff Dunham. That guy is a riot!

71. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
When I was, like, two and believed vampires were going to eat me.

72. What is the main ring tone on your phone?
My brother doing the Cartmen-guy's voice from South Park. "Well Carl, I'm a little pissed off how are you?! *beep* Suck my balls!"

73. Do you still have clothes from when you were little?
Some.

74. What red object is closest to you right now?
A notebook with pictures of pom in it.

75. Do you turn off the water while you brush your teeth?
No. You start taking five minutes showers and then we'll talk.

76. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
Closed. I have a seriously overactive imagination and I’ve been permanently traumatized by my friend popping out of the closet with a clown face on and spraying silly puddy string ALL OVER my new fucking sleeping bag.

77. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees?
A bear! I hate bees. This one time when I was little (when it was cool to be a construction worker) I got this hammer out and started pounding on a piece of wood that was, what do you know! A bees hive. And they stung me and it was owie and I want them to die I hate them so much. Beetches.

78. Do you flirt a lot?
Somehow I don't think my vibrator would give a shit whether I flirted with it or not.

79. What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
Nothing. I hate condom-ents.

80. What is your favorite food?
Steak!

81. Can you change the oil on a car?
No. Why would I want to when I can over-pay big hairy manly men to do it for me?

82. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket?
NO.

83. Have you ever run out of gas?
Yes.

84. What is your usual bedtime?
Nine o'clock. I have to get up at four thirty in the morning.

85. What was the last book you read?
Lord of the Flies, and it sucks ass!

86. Do you read the newspaper?
I used to.

87. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
Seventeen and Cosmo Girl.

89. Do you watch soap operas?
No.

90. Do you dance in the car?
I'm horrible at dancing.

91. What radio station did you last listen to?
105.1 Countrah!

92. Who is in the picture frame closest to you?
My and brother when I was 8 and he was 6.

93. What was the last note you scribbled on a piece of paper?
Clean up the hairball in the kitchen...which I still need to do.

94. What is your favorite candle scent?
Some vanilla ginger thing.

95. What is your favorite board game?
Monopoly.

97. When was the last time you attended church?
Like, fifteen millions years ago.

98. Who was your favorite teacher in high school?
Mr. Van Sant. I loved him so much!

99. What is the longest you have ever camped out in a tent?
Two days, give or take a couple hours.

100. Who was the last person to do something extra special for you?
My brother told me 'fuck you too.'